Jimmithy Slimfaddian
Clouds blotted the sky with darkness. An ever present wind whispered on the edges of every leaf, limb, stalk and neck under its watch. The valley of a forested mountain, the long looming shadow of the peak swallowed up by the darkness of the sky.
Jimmithy Slimfaddian. His name was Jimmith Slimfaddian.
The sky shattered open. From the peak of the mountain, a deluge deluged from the deluge of the deluge.
Jimmithy Slimfaddian grimaced his signature Slimfaddian grimace. He turned to his loyal Donkey, Biff. “Water is what water is. And what water is, is a killer”
Biff let out a biff, he heed and hawed as his grey coat of horsey like donkey hair was darn cooked in the rain.
Jimmithy Slimfaddian shook his head in that signature Slifaddian head shaking manner. He looked away from his loyal soaked Donkey, Biff. “I’d rather kill six-teen bears than suffer another moment of this weather.”
The rain stopped.
Biff’s cat like donkey ears perked to attention. Placed within the way of Jimmithy Slimfaddian and his loyal attentively wet donkey, Biff, was a boulder. Behind that boulder emerged six-teen bears.
These were not ordinary bears. First of all, sixteen bears don’t usally hide behind a boulder. Lastly and most important, these bears all had swords in their mouths.
Jimmithy Slimfaddian drew his signature Slimfaddian Katana, forged in the fires of nippon, by his loyal and surprisingly skilled blacksmith friend, Yoshimitsu.
“Yoshimitsu’s blade will feast up on the flesh of these wretched beasts. Hold your-”
Before Jimmithy Slimfaddian could utter another world, the leader of the Bear Samurai Clan (BSC), Tolonda, full on charged Jimmithy, slicing him in two.
It was like in the movies when someone gets sliced, and then after a moment, the thing that happens after someone gets sliced happens.
The bears started to feast on the twin Jimmithy Slimfaddian signature raw meat dishes, only to find it was very hard to eat with swords in their mouths.
The smallest bear, Small Bear, turned to biff. He said “Grrrrr”. Biff did his biggest donkey Hee-snaw, and then Hee-hawwed all the way down the mountain.
The rain was stopped. Jimmith Slimfaddian was never heard from again.
All the bears died due to territorial lack of food over the next six months, except Small Bear. Small Bear required less food, and also ditched his sword. The other bears, could not figure out how to eat while carrying their blades.